Dating website people depression
That’s essential to know, because most N people aren’t “bad.” They’re not “evil” even though I’ve heard them described as such. The truth is that they are mentally/emotionally damaged.
They usually also believe themselves NOT to have hidden insecurities.
My guess is that you’d head out to the trashcan immediately and dump the mirror in it. I think my N was, based on the lengthy divorce proceedings, the number of psychiatrists that were called in to evaluate both parents, the fact that both parents were court-ordered to intensive parenting classes, and the public court records show him requesting that certain evidence from psychiatrists be struck from the record. When that mirror proves unsatisfactory, they may stay with that mirror but continue looking, so they don’t have to be alone.
Naturally, he would never tell me of this diagnosis because he does not believe it to be true of himself. N’s have a terrible time being alone with themselves.
Having been raised by an N parent, you’d think that I would recognize N behavior before it enters my life.
An N has the emotional capacity of a child that is approximately 6-7 years old.
That’s the age when it’s traditionally been determined that children reach the age of reason.
It’s also the age when life is truly “all about me.” Prior to that age children are selfish and act simply for self-fulfillment because they don’t know better.
But, as a rule, you don’t know yet that you’re with an N. They do this not because they are truly feeling this way, because they are incapable of empathy, but because they are feeding off YOU.
Odds are you’ll shrug off a comment like this with an assenting murmur or even a bold assertion that the N is totally just as smart, if not smarter. YOU are their mirror and having a mirror to look in is the only thing that tells them whether they are truly what they believe themselves to be. They admit doing no wrong; they admit to no flaws; they cannot allow themselves to believe that they are not perfect. Remember, you are nothing more than a reflection of the N, and if the N isn’t seeing what he or she expects and wants to see, , they will swing into manipulation and control mode. In my experience, withdrawal (punishment – you are banished from my magnificent presence! When I didn’t obey, passive-aggressive bullying came next. They have an idea in their heads regarding what love is, but you will never hear them tell you they love you and if you tell them you love them, prepare for the worst.