Dating a crystal meth addict

When a tweeker is driving down a road he is driving about 200 mph, and talking to the upholstery. If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?

What's the difference between a stoner and a tweeker? When a pothead is driving down a road he is driving about 20 mph and eating the upholstery.

Q: How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?

A: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.

Q: What do a bad football team and a pothead have in common?

A: A pot belly Q: Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!

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" Now wait a minute, professor," interrupted a student. The drunk said, "Fuck This, I'm gonna pretend I'm a bottle and just roll down the hill! A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. " And the store owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads! He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV? She got really high and thought that everything is awesome in the sea. He says: Hi little fish, where did you get so high? 1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never having sex again", poof back to earth, Open the alcoholic room and he say "Im never having beer", and gets sent back to Earth. A: The Power Puff Puff Pass Girls Q: What do you call the dude that brings shrooms to a party? A: Protestant woman gets stoned before they commit adultery. Q: What is the difference between a Protestant woman and a Muslim woman? Life's a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and lets get high! How much weed would a woodchuck smoke if a woodchuck could smoke weed? Are you a drug, cause I marijuana take you home with me tonight. (to Little Ms Muffet) little druggy sat in her buggy smoking a joint of weed along came a spider who sat down beside her and sold her a kilo of speed Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke a little leaf, Jack got high and dropped his fly and Jill said "Where's The Beef? He grew on a 7 foot tree Till one day I plucked him Rolled him & smoked him And now I can barely see! Sex, drugs, rock & roll; speed, weed, & birth control. I failed that objective So im going to die This is tha end of my rhyme So i gotta say bye!!

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